Posts Tagged ways to get married.

No one have a clear idea when did the first divorce happen in the world? But history suggests that divorce existed in the ancient civilization too.  As per record most of the divorces happen in Sweden (54.9%) US (54.8%) have the second position. India have only 1.1 percentage, but compared to other nation we need to consider our population too.

Why couples get divorced so often? There are certain things we should discuss to reach in a conclusion.

 1)      The ways to get married.

 a)     Arranged Marriage

Most of the marriages happen in this way, it is the most preferred way of getting married.  In an arranged marriage there are advantages and disadvantages.

Advantage: they have the family support

Disadvantage: They don’t get enough time to know each other before marriage.

 If you keep a mirror far away from you, you may not see you perfectly. So I believe both the girl and boy should get some time to understand each other. Understand; observe the qualities, abilities, and approach to life, strength and weaknesses then decide. Both the families should encourage it.

 In my view this can be called an ‘arranged love marriage’

 One should understand that both boy and girl are coming from different situations, living standards and decide to live together. So compromise is necessary.

 b)    Love Marriage

I believe, there are lots of troubles in this category. Most of the divorces happen in this category, because they are in blind love before marriage. They only realize and observe the real strength, weakness, and qualities after marriage. Then they criticize each other.

 Both of them argue with some points like ‘I thought you like it’ ‘you never told me’ etc.

 We consider the mirror once again. If you keep the mirror so close to you, you may not be able to see you properly.

 Most of the cases they do not have family support, this is the major disadvantage.

 There are lots of cases where the marriage is long lasting and fruitful, because they discuss each other, understand well and compromise.

 2)      Pressure in working class

Now a days, most of the girls are educated and working. So trouble increases. Girls often think that they can live independently. This contributes a little to divorce.

 Implications

Implication is so severe if they have children. Their life is going to be miserable. In most of the divorce cases Men and Women decide to marry again. So the life of their child with step father/mother may not be smoother. There are lots of cases, where the child leave their home and come to street, just because they could not survive with. At least think about the life of your children.

 Conclusion

Consider propelling a boat, if you are rowing it alone, you may go ahead as you wish. But consider two people are rowing it together. The rhythm should be same; otherwise it will not go smoothly. People those who are married should understand it and apply a common rhythm. 

Understand, compromise is necessary, discuss every matter if there is any conflict. So happy married life. Say no to divorce. 

PS: I have written an article ’10 things you should discuss before marriage’ in a Malayalam magazine. I will have the English version at a later time.